17
Mar
The Importance of Attitude
After writing last on balance, I had a powerful experience yesterday that brings to mind another important aspect of a healthy life. Out of the blue an old friend who I hadn’t seen for years showed up at the Zen Center. It was pure happenstance that I was there myself, for I have been an infrequent attendee in recent months. This meeting set up another matter I’ll mention in a minute and encouraged me to stay for lunch afterwards and have a delightful time. My friend had been an intense Zen practitioner for a year or more and then drifted away. I had tried to stay in touch and been a little concerned and hurt when she did not respond, but I shrugged and moved on. Meanwhile it is clear she was dealing with her own “stuff,” which has now ripened in a way that she can return with a huge smile on her face. It was a true joy to see her again.
The message was reinforced by the guest speaker, one Dr. Kim, an integrative medicine practitioner. A man of enormous breadth of education and character, he is also an impressive speaker. He told, in answer to a couple of questions, anonymous patient stories of folk who had come to see him that made the same point as above. In one situation his patient was very sick, and he said (I paraphrase), “You’re dying. Until you find out why, I can’t help you.” Eventually she found the clinical diagnosis and came back, but still that was not enough. “You have to decide if you want to live or die. Some and see me when you know.” She decided to live, and this allowed Dr. Kim to discover the root cause, grieving over death. Now, with her desire to get better, he can work with her.
The message from both of this is something Buddha was teaching 2,500 years ago; I can’t make you well and you can’t make me well, it’s something we must each do for ourselves. I can love you, and if you come to me openly and honestly and with a positive attitude then I can certainly commit to you and maybe that will help.
This message is something I know but it is so easy to drift away from it in one’s own life. I need to practice this in relationships and in work; release the desire, just love, just do what’s there in front of me.
Spirituality Uncategorized
